Thanksgiving?

Thanksgiving is a time for reflection. A time to look back on all the things that have happened in your life and put them into perspective.

This year many things have happened in my life. The Boy participated in the Chicago Youth in Music Festival and was able to work with Maestro Riccardo Muti. He auditioned for and made principal bass trombone for the Chicago Youth Philharmonic Orchestra. He is doing very well in school and made principal bass trombone for the ILMEA District band and will most likely make All State. He applied for the National Youth Orchestra and we will find out in January if he makes it. Deaglan was placed in freshman honors advanced algebra 1 honors. He's only in 8th grade. He is doing very well at Merit and was just placed in the trombone choir. He is doing very well in school as well. Padric started his first official year at Merit and is first chair trombone in the Junior Band. He is in project tree math and reading.

So, you're probably wondering why I've written all this with the title Thanksgiving? Well, if you know me, you know my kids are talented and smart. You also know that I'm a smart ass and the apples don't fall far from the tree....

So, I'm sitting on the couch in the living room working on this blog and there are sounds of turkey prep coming from the kitchen. Clanging and banging. Chris giving directions to the kids, generally, productive chaos. To add to the cacophony, they've added music. Well, Chris got me a few google home minis a few weeks ago and we're still learning how to use them.

Chris: OK Google. Play the news.
Google: The news starts playing on the living room speaker.
Me: Hey google, stop. Play news on the kitchen speaker
C: OK Google. Play the news
G: The news plays in the living room again.
Me: Hey google, stop, play the news on the kitchen speaker
C: OK GOOGLE play the news
G: The news starts in the living room. AGAIN..
Me: Hey google, stop
C: OK GOOGLE play the news on the kitchen speaker.

After they (Chris and the Boy) figure out how to listen to what they want in the kitchen they settle on some classical music. I have to keep turning down the volume from the living room because, classical music movements change in intensity and volume quite often. I'm glad I did because the following conversation was hysterical.

At this point, Chris has the Boy take the turkey out of the brining cooler and rinse it off in the sink and the fun begins.

C: Dump all the water in the sink and run cold water. You have to rinse all the salty brine off the bird. You're going to have to get friendly with it. Get you hands between the skin and the flesh, you need to separate the connective tissue. Keep running water through the cavity and make sure to rinse it all.

B: ~Does as he is told~

C: Come one, get in there, you've already gotten to second base with it.

B: Second base! I've fisted the damned thing and you're saying all I've done is gotten to second base!?

C: What are you looking for, it to give you the obligatory blow job?

B: I'm just saying that fisting is way more than second base.

C: ~Still going on about the obligatory blow job~ If that's what you want the beaking will kill ya.

If I wasn't laughing so hard I would have caught all the comments that followed about drying the bird and then oiling it. I'll let you all use your imaginations as to what was said.

From this crazy family to yours,
Happy Thanksgiving


*Edited

Now the Sunday after Thanksgiving I was sitting on the couch and my left foot went numb. Not tingly numb, felt absolutely nothing numb. I had no idea it was numb. I tried to stand up and went down like a sack of bricks. Luckily, I only sprained it pretty bad and didn't break or tear anything.

Freaking Out!

As I type this I am freaking out just a little bit. See, there is only ONE Survey of Organic Chemistry class offered next semester. ONE. With only 32 seats.

Priority registration started on Monday at midnight. Priority registration is based on how many credits you are currently taking. The more credits the earlier you can register.

Since I can only handle 3 classes and 12 credits at a time, my priority is kinda low. I can't register until tonight at midnight. The last time I checked there were only 12 seats left......

Wish me luck.

On a better note, I'm getting my new tattoo tomorrow. I can't wait! I'll post pictures some time tomorrow.

First full semester

I passed my COM 101 class with a B.

I almost bit off more than I could chew this summer. I took CHM 111 (basic chemistry) and COM 102.

I spent my summer writing and doing chemistry experiments at my kitchen table. Yes, you read that right, chemistry experiments at my kitchen table. See I had the brilliant idea to take COM and CHM online. I had a chemistry kit in a box. It came complete with a sterno fuel can for my heat source, tiny test tubes, little  50mL beakers, vinyl gloves and safety goggles. I have to admit it was pretty bad ass. The downside was that it was only a 7 week class. So I was ALWAYS doing chemistry homework. But thanks to Megan and Tyler (a youtube chemistry GOD) I passed the class with a solid A.

I know I bitched about my COM 101 class (and rightly so) but my COM 102 class was awesome! I took it online as well and worked my ass off but the professor was amazing. She was quick to answer my questions and gave me great advice and insight on my writing. I am taking LIT 226 with her Fall of next year. Not only did she help me with my writing, she proofed a speech for me even though I wasn't in her class any longer.

Yeah.... that speech. I was awarded a scholarship and the Moraine Foundation asked if I would tell my story as basically the keynote speaker for the award reception. I was so nervous, but Chris posted it to facebook and said that I rocked it. They also asked if I would answer a few questions and say thank you to the donors in a short video interview. My dumb ass said sure. That video is on youtube (you can watch it here) and I hope it helps the foundation get more money for students that need it.

I'm taking CHM 131, MTH 096, and HUM 101 this semester and I'm getting straight A's. I've picked my classes for next semester and I'm just waiting for my registration date.

My goal is to keep my GPA as high as possible so that when I apply to UIC College of Nursing they have to accept me.

Wish me luck.

COM 101

I realized the other day why I quit college 20 years ago....... Composition 101.

I HATE RHETORIC!

There, I've said it. I absolutely hate it. I enjoy writing and having readers see and feel what I'm trying to express, but I hate having my work critiqued. I hate having to follow precise instructions. I hate writing assignments. I will not let this get me! I will make this class my bitch!

New Year, Lots of Changes

Well, it's 2017 and 2016 can suck my ass!

A lot of shit hit the fan last year. My bio-dad passed away due to complications with his colostomy. Basically that means, he didn't take care of himself, perforated his bowel, and died of septicemia. Joy. Did I mention that he died 6 days before my birthday? Happy Fucking Birthday to me. My best friend's father-in-law passed away in early November. Even more Joy! But, I've decided I'm going to make 2017 my bitch and I'm going back to school. I filed my FAFSA and scheduled my placement test a Moraine Valley. I have to get my pre-reqs/gen-ed stuff done and I might as well do it for as little cash as possible because I plan on transferring to UIC to do what I started 20 years ago and become a nurse (finally). Wish me luck.

Spider bites and crunchy gym socks

WTF?!

I know right?  What do spider bites have to do with crunchy gym socks, or how does one lead to the other?

This is how.

Chris and I are sitting at the kitchen table tonight after sending things 2 & 3 to bed.  We were eating a very late dinner-ish meal because The Boy had a performance tonight for Merit.  I had just told The Boy to go to bed and he informed me that he must be sharing his bed with a spider because he had a few bites.  So he showed me one on his arm and then one on his shin.  I looked at the one on his shin and told him it wasn't a spider bite but an ingrown hair.  He saw a patch of red bumps on my wrist and asked what that was from.  I told him it's from the dog slobber from playing with Ru a few minutes before.  He lifted his shirt and said something about a rash he'd had a few summers ago that was on his chest.  Being the nosey mom that I am, I asked if he had any hair on his chest yet.  He said no but kind of pointed to his pits.

Me-M   The Boy-TB   Chris- C

M: "Oh, great now you have fuzzy pits."
All: Laughter.
M:"Do I need to start washing your sheets more?"
TB: "Once a week would be good"
M: "EW!  who wants to sleep on crunchy sheets?"
All: more laughter.
TB: Uncomfortable.
C: Do you need an adult?
M: "I guess it's time to tell you the house rules on masturbation.  If you feel the need to do so, only do it if you're alone or your brothers are asleep.  Use an old gym sock."
C: Don't use on old gym sock, especially a used one.
TB: Help!
C: Athlete's foot.  They don't call it jock itch for fun.
M: I need a grown up!  Help!
More laughter
C: use an old shirt, use something we don't want the ceiling spackled.
M & TB: HELP! GROWN UP!!
M: Let me know which shirt you're using, I don't want to put it back into wearing circulation, cum stains.
C: You gotta clean that shit up, jizz streaks.
M:  I will never own a black light!
C: Look! Someone was playing with liquid Tide.

The Boy is 12.  He'll be 13 in August.  He's noticing girls and they've been noticing him.  He's an amazing kid.  I gotta say, I liked it when they were little and I could put them down and they would stay put.  Toddlers were fun but exhausting.  Grammar school age is fun.  I like seeing the light bulbs above their heads turn on every few hours when they get something new.

I'm really liking 12.  He's moody, snarky, withdrawn, obstinate, defiant, funny, courteous, loving, insightful, observant, polite, helpful, and passionate.  Best of all, he's mine.

Sleeping with the Elephant man

For those of you that the don't know, Chris got a C PAP machine in December of 2012. He used it when he first got it but like any new toy he got bored with it and stopped using it.   About a week or so ago he started using it again. 

It's disturbing. He's got a trunk just like an elephant. It sounds pretty much like a white noise machine until he starts to breathe. And God forbid if he starts to snore. 

How to explain the sound? This is what I want you to do, pinch your nose shut with your index finger and thumb.  Now open your mouth and try to snore.   Add a constant hissing sound and you've come close.  

So last night he fell asleep before I did.   I listened to that God awful sound for about an hour before I feel asleep with my pillow over my head.   Around 3:30 I woke up from a dead sleep to hear the sound I described only worse because he was laying on his back.  To make it worse, the condensation in the tubing was making a loud gurgling sound every time he inhaled or exhaled.   I nudged him.  I shoved him.  I kicked at him.  Hell, I even snapped the straps on his face that hold the mask in place.  Nothing.  He finally stopped.   I turned over, facing his side of the bed, got comfortable, and started to drift off.  

Then, he rolled on to his side.  Facing me.   And not only did the snoring resume, but this time I could hear the snoring, I could feel the snoring, and I could smell the snoring.   Apparently there is a small hole at the end of the mask, so when he rolled over this hole was aimed right at my face and with his mouth open the sink breath was just riding the waves of air from the mask. 

I rolled over again and fell asleep wondering when Monster was going to be joining me for his usual "Mommy I had a really bad dream" snuggle.   Luckily the next thing to wake me was the alarm clock.